Dating your employer: What to say and what to avoid when arranging the first date

Your initial contact with your employer-to-be is not an inquiry into what openings might be available. Instead, it is identical to a time-honored tool in the job hunt: the informational interview.

Unlike the job interview, in the informational interview, you are the interviewer, and what you are looking for from your interviewee (we told you where you might find this person in our last installment) is information about his or her industry and company.

Ideally, the person you have identified as your target works in your field. Before calling that person, you should have done your background research on the company, using the research tools mentioned in the third installment.

The aim of your initial contact is to set up a face-to-face meeting, but if your contact prefers, a telephone interview is an acceptable alternative. There are some things you can say to help this process along, and one that will stop it in its tracks. Let's get rid of the last one first.

The thing you should never say when calling to set up a first interview is that you are looking for a job or inquiring about job opportunities, even if you know that the company is hiring in your field. What you should tell the intended interviewee is that you are looking for information about their industry and company. You can put this request in the context of exploring your career options.

Your contact might ask whether you know anything about the industry. If he or she does, here is where you mention some of the things you have found in your research.

If you find it difficult to break the ice, you might want to prepare a script beforehand and practice it - but use it only as a framework to guide you through the actual conversation. Even over the phone, people can tell when someone is reading a script.

Chances are you will not actually go on that first date in this phone call. What you should come out of the call with, however, is a date and time for that first date. Instead of asking your contact if he or she is free, suggest some times that you are free and ask whether they are also free at any of those times.

This may go against the grain of how you think you should behave when approaching someone you have never spoken to before, especially when the goal is to get that someone to hire you in the end. "Job seekers feel they need to stand slightly off the stage and slightly behind the curtain so as not to seem pushy," Career Talk Guys partner Doug Beabout said.

In truth, you won't seem pushy if you are quietly confident and assume that the contact wants to help you. You will be surprised to find that most do if you approach them the right way.

By Sandy Smith

Sandy Smith is a veteran freelance writer, editor and public relations professional who lives in Philadelphia. Besides blogging for BusinessWorkForce.com, he has written for numerous publications and websites, would be happy to do your resume, and is himself actively seeking career opportunities on Nexxt. Check out his LinkedIn profile and read his other posts on BusinessWorkForceBlog.com.